THIRTY, NERDY & STRIVING

 

Hi there! So…it’s been a minute. And by a minute I mean about a year and a half. 😅

In that time, I’ve made dozens of attempts to write a new post, with my anxiety always stopping me. I’m not gonna lie, it’s been a rough time for me, mentally, since the pandemic started. 2021 was a particularly hard year.  However, over the past few months, I’ve slowly started to feel like myself again. After being in a really dark headspace for so long, it has taken a while for me to gain my confidence back. I lost myself for a little while, forgot my worth. But setting boundaries, standing up for myself, and facing things head-on has made me stronger.

Despite the low I had to endure, things are clearer to me now. I know who I am, and what I stand for. It’s difficult to keep my mental illness brain in check, but I’ve gotten a lot better at it. I’m really proud of myself for the progress I’ve made. Going forward, I feel so much more prepared to be able to deal with my ever-changing mental state.

That being said, welcome to my new era!! MY BAD BITCH, NO BULLSHIT ERA!! 😋

My birthday was on the 16th, and it was a fucking big one.

I’m 30, bitches!! Whoa!!

It’s absolutely wild to me that I’ve been alive for three decades. Considering I genuinely never saw myself making it to this age, I’m kind of stoked. I mean, my usual birthday/aging anxiety is still there, I won’t deny it. I could easily focus on all the “negative” things. But I’m mostly content with myself, even with all my silly flaws and faults. I remind myself often that I’m just a soul living the human experience, in a human body, in this fucked up little world, just like everyone else. I am worthy and deserving simply because I exist.

 

This year, I will be 30, Nerdy & Striving! If you know the reference, you’re cool. I modified the phrase to fit me, of course. I’m not flirty AT all, and I’m still working on the “thriving” part. Instead, I’ll continue to be my nerdy, weird self, and keep striving toward my goals.

Now, let’s chat a bit about they/them/wear !!

This blog, I’ve realized, needs to be for ME before anyone else. I have to love what I create. Trying to focus on being super professional, and catering my posts to what people statistically like isn’t sustainable for me. I still want to grow my blog to bigger audiences and share my art with the world, but while being authentically myself the whole time.

I’ve updated my ABOUT page, so please give it a little read if you’re new here, or would like to get to know me and this blog a bit better. Fashion and lifestyle will continue to be a big focus on here, as well as art and DIY crafts. My views on the fashion world (and fashion blogging, for that matter) have changed since I last wrote here. Creativity, self-expression and DIY will always take precedence over trends, celebrities, and mainstream fashion.

I also want to talk about my mental health more. Mental illness is still such a stigmatized thing. So many people don’t understand it, despite so many people experiencing it. To bring even a little bit of awareness to it, or help someone feel less alone, is enough for me to want to talk about it. Same goes with talking about gender, and specifically, identifying outside of the gender binary.

As I work on myself irl, I’ll be sharing my various hobbies, interests and opinions on here. I’m getting back into reading, and back into doll collecting. I hope to get more consistently into spirituality, as well. I’ve also been drawing and doing an occasional makeup look. Getting back into writing is the toughest for me right now.  I’m far from the creative writer I used to be, but  I’m finally warming back up to writing, even if it’s just these blog posts. Although my creative juices are a bit like jelly at the moment, I’m sure once I get back into the habit of creating, my ideas and inspirations will flow again.

Writing this initial comeback post has felt overwhelming for the past year and a half. I debated whether I even had anything worth saying. However, pushing past my anxiety, and writing without harshly judging myself has allowed me to finally finish writing this post.

New content will be coming soon! I’m working at giving myself a realistic schedule so that I can stay consistent, even if it’s less often than I would like.

Thank you for reading and/or following! I’m a bit late, but I wish you all a wonderful new year!

Take care,
Emerson 💖

Life Update & BLM Resources

I have been struggling to get another post up on here since I posted my last one. I had all the intentions to do so, but writing has been difficult lately, so I've pretty much avoided doing it altogether.  It's been over two months since my last post, and I'm finally ready to get over the unnecessary fear of sounding stupid or saying the wrong thing. Even though right now only, like, 10 people read my blog, I do hope to one day be successful with it.

Life feels different, because it is. Living through a pandemic (which is not over, despite what the cheeto in the white house says), is a shared traumatic event. You would think because we're all going through it together, it would be easier to deal with. However, everyone is different, which means everyone is experiencing it differently. Personally, it's fucked with my mental health quite a bit. Even on my best days, my depression and anxiety are always there in the background, trying to dictate my every move. Even while writing this, every time I get stuck on a sentence my brain is trying to convince me to just lie down for a bit, come back to it later. While I have gotten a lot stronger and better at fighting it, I know it's also important to let myself take breaks. Keeping the balance is tricky, but I'm managing. And I hope you are, too.

I also want to briefly talk about the police brutality and social injustices against black people. Although media coverage of protests is dying down and people's social medias are going back to "normal", the fight against racism, on all levels, is NOT over.  Racism runs deep in this country, meaning that it's going to take a lot to undo hundreds of years of oppression. And it's going to take all of us.

As a white person, I recognize my privilege and vow to stand up against any racism I see, in my society, my peers, my family, and myself. I have been working on educating myself, signing loads of petitions, and doing what I can to help.

Resources

Black Lives Matter Website

Petitions to Sign

More Petitions to Sign

Where to Donate

Books to Read
Watch w/ Ads on to Donate

Watch w/ Ads on to Donate (the creator of this video is currently trying to get it back with ads)

Resources on my Insta Highlights

There are tons of other resources, so don't stop here! I just wanted to have something on my blog that can lead people in the right direction. I may add to this list as I find new resources, or feel free to leave any in the comments.

So that's where I'm at. Fashion, art, and lifestyle posts will be coming soon. I really wanted to address the state of the country/world first, before hopping back into posting. I hope you are staying safe, healthy, and sane.

Take care of yourself,

Emerson

ps: Happy Pride month, my fellow queers! 🌈

Tips For Minimizing Holiday Shopping Anxiety

As fun as Christmas shopping is, it can also be really stressful, especially now in the final week before Christmas. For people with anxiety, such as myself, sometimes even the thought of walking around a packed mall can be overwhelming. While I am bursting with Christmas spirit, the stress and anxiety of Christmas shopping has kept me up many nights and at one point had me nearly shaking after a day of rushing around stores and panicking about money. Having faced the difficulty myself, I created this list of tips and tricks to help you minimize anxiety during the Christmas shopping rush.

Go in with a Plan

Planning is something that keeps me productive and organized in everyday life. Treat Christmas shopping the same way. Make a list of gifts you plan on buying, the amount of money you can spend, and where you’ll need to go to get each item. Having a plan gives you a place to start and a place to fall back on if you get overwhelmed. Refer back to your lists and tweak your plans whenever needed.

Know Your Limits

You know yourself better than anyone else does, so listen to your intuition. Give yourself reasonable tasks so that you can avoid getting overwhelmed. If possible, avoid things that might make you feel extra anxious or crummy, and know when to and when not to push yourself.

Avoid the Crowds

To stay out of the hectic rush of the mall, go shopping during off-hours, like weekdays. Shopping online is a good way to avoid crowds, but some things are just better bought in stores. Don’t save your shopping until the weekend before Christmas when tons of people are doing just that.

Treat Yourself

Buy something for yourself while you’re out and about! It could be something you’ve wanted all year, like a new makeup product or tech gadget. Or maybe go with something that will help you wind down later, like some tea and a bath bomb. Take yourself out to lunch because you deserve it. If not, a handy drink can be the perfect thing to help calm you as you make your way through the isles. A frappuccino or iced coffee is my personal favorite.

End Your Day Right

Give yourself time to relax at the end of a long day. The present wrapping can wait a few hours while you take a hot bath or even a nap. Instead of replaying the hectic day in your head, read a magazine or unwind with some mobile games.

Take Your Meds

While it is super important not to skip your meds at any time during the year, knowing that something will likely give you anxiety is even more of a reason to make sure you take them. If you take a medication for short term anxiety relief, make sure to bring a couple with you during the day, and don’t feel bad if you end up needing to take one. Your mental health is so important, and you don’t need anxiety charging in and ruining your Christmas spirit.

Give Thoughtful Gifts

Remember that despite Christmas being a Hallmark holiday, the best presents truly do come from the heart. When you get something for someone that you know they will like, there’s not that worry of being unsure if they will like their gift or not. Listen to people throughout the year so that you know what they have their eyes on. Putting lots of thought and effort into picking out or making a gift will show through when it is unwrapped. If you’re short on money, give one really thoughtful gift over a bunch of smaller, less personal ones.

Those are just a handful of tips that I wish I had followed myself from the start of my holiday shopping. I hope they can help you, or at the very least give you some ideas to ways you can keep your anxiety under control during this time of year. Also, read plenty of other tips to find out what will best work for you. Many more people than you think are dealing with things like anxiety. It is important that we help each other out.

What is your best tip for minimizing anxiety during the Christmas shopping rush?

6 Cozy Things to Add to Your Night Routine

With the sun setting around 4 PM and the holidays right around the corner, this time of year is the coziest time of year. Just thinking about it makes me want to curl up in a blanket and sip hot chocolate in front of a fireplace. Although I don’t have a fireplace in my home, let alone any hot chocolate, I have found some easy, practical ways to make my nights comfier and cozier. Throwing these couple of extra steps into my evenings have made such a difference in my mood. Allowing time to pamper and indulge myself in simplicity is such a necessary step to making sure I take care of my mental health.

Here are some things I have been doing to make my nights not only cozier, but more relaxing and enjoyable.

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Light Candles

Okay, this one is probably pretty obvious. Lighting candles seems to be on every cozy self-care list ever made, but hear me out. Somehow Bath and Body Works always manages to lure me in during the colder seasons. Unlike in the summer, I want my room full of rich, warm scents. But stopping at one pretty scented candle is where I have been going wrong all along.

Enter, the non-scented candle. Although I use non-scented candles in my spiritual practice, I never considered using them to light my room. However, after watching this video by The Mustards, I decided to give it a try. Lying down to relax never felt cozier than with my room full of candle light. Plus, my anxiety stays tame because I use candles in glass jars. If you’re a one scented candle kind of person like me, I highly recommend you try adding a couple non-scented candles to your decor.

Turn Off the Screens

That’s right, all of them. Even your phone (as tempting as it may be to play Animal Crossing: Pocket Camp). Despite doing most of my work in the evenings, I still like to find some time to turn off my devices. Lucky for me, one of my greatest pleasures in life is handwriting in notebooks. I even have one specifically for my blog, so I’m often scribbling ideas in it when I’m away from my devices. Finding something to fill this down time with isn’t always easy, so keep on reading for some ideas.

Read a Physical Book

A great way to spend some screen-free time is by reading. I know not everybody enjoys reading, but if you have the patience, finding the right book for you might be all you need to do. I’ve been getting into more non-fiction lately, but there are so many genres out there. If you’re interested in something, I guarantee there’s a book about it.

Drink Some Tea

Maybe it’s just because I’m not a coffee person, but I find tea to be the perfect cozy drink. It feels good to drink it, like I’m helping my body in some way. Plus, the warmth is exactly what I need to help me get calm and ready for bed. Of course, you can drink whatever drink makes you feel the coziest, whether hot or cold. Maybe you even have a special drink that is only for cozy winter nights, like a chamomile tea or hot cocoa. Drinking tea while reading is an A+ combo, as well.

Start a Skincare Routine

Clean that face! Moisturize! As someone who has struggled to stay on top of my skincare game, having the cold weather dry my skin out has definitely pushed me to keep up with it. It seems like every year I have a couple different dry spots on my face. This year it’s the side of my nose and above my lip. Just by doing the basics, like cleansing and moisturizing, my dry patches are gone and my skin is soft as heck. Naturally, everyone’s skincare routine will be different, and I am no expert on the subject, so I recommend looking into what you will need to take care of your skin.

Be Present

Reflecting on your day and being grateful is a great start! But sometimes being present in the moment can really help you think clearly and feel better about yourself. It can be a difficult thing to do, which is why meditation is ideal. Don’t let the idea scare you, though. In simplest terms, all meditation is is focusing on breathing and clearing your mind of unneeded thought. No, it’s not easy, but yes, it can really help your state of mind, as well as help you go to bed with a smile on your face.

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Those are just a few things that I have started incorporating into my nights. Seasonal depression can be a real bitch, so I’m trying my hardest to work on things before the holidays season ends and my heart yearns for the spring. These tips are nothing extravagant or original, but they are tried and true to me. Even adding just a couple to your night can help you wind down and feel those cozy vibes all winter long.

What are you doing to make your night routine cozier this winter? I’d love to know!