Fuck Resolutions, Make Goals Instead

This year was my most progressive year, even if it was slow going. This year is the first year that I'm actually looking forward to the next year because I feel like I can own up to the past. For once, the potential of the future doesn't seem out of reach. It doesn't seem like some distant thing that I can never tackle. Depression who??

I am stronger than I've ever been. I know exactly who I am and I love myself. In fact, I remind myself daily that I love myself. Even when I am too exhausted to get out of bed or so unmotivated that I can't even check up on Animal Crossing, I eventually manage to pull myself out of that and continue living. It is thanks to proper medication, spiritual growth, strong relationships and creative drive. Because of those things, 2017 truly felt like the year that I started living my life. Sure it took about 25 years to get there, but at least I finally got there.

2018 is going to be a year of hard work and good payoff. Why? Because I'm not making resolutions. I'm making goals. 

As far as I’m concerned, New Year’s resolutions are a bunch of bullshit. Year after year we make them only to break them and then feel bad about ourselves. Sure, our intentions are good, but they aren’t meaningful or even real. 

For example, you might make the resolution to lose weight. Why? Maybe because you think you need to lose weight, and the ads on TV are making it tempting to sign up for the gym. Plus, everyone keeps telling you that the new year is a new start, blah blah blah.

If you don’t choose to make a real change, you aren’t going to follow through. If you aren’t mentally, or even spiritually prepared, your resolutions will fail. And you know it! Because when is the last time anyone has actually ever stuck with their resolutions??

Goals are different. Goals are intentional and powerful. Making a goal is like making a pact with yourself saying that you are going to get something done, or at the very least try really hard. Except when you make silly, unreasonable ones, goals can always be accomplished with hard work, persistence, and drive. 

So set your intentions for the year. Make your goals. Make reasonable goals. Make goals that put a smile on your face at the thought of them being completed. Make sure the steps to get those goals completed are ones you can take. If your goal is to lose weight, it is because you want to, not because you think you have to. And if your goal is really to lose weight, start now! While the new year is a new start, so is every single day, and every single moment. Your life is yours and you don’t have to wait for the clock to strike midnight to make things happen. You can do that right now!

Tips For Minimizing Holiday Shopping Anxiety

As fun as Christmas shopping is, it can also be really stressful, especially now in the final week before Christmas. For people with anxiety, such as myself, sometimes even the thought of walking around a packed mall can be overwhelming. While I am bursting with Christmas spirit, the stress and anxiety of Christmas shopping has kept me up many nights and at one point had me nearly shaking after a day of rushing around stores and panicking about money. Having faced the difficulty myself, I created this list of tips and tricks to help you minimize anxiety during the Christmas shopping rush.

Go in with a Plan

Planning is something that keeps me productive and organized in everyday life. Treat Christmas shopping the same way. Make a list of gifts you plan on buying, the amount of money you can spend, and where you’ll need to go to get each item. Having a plan gives you a place to start and a place to fall back on if you get overwhelmed. Refer back to your lists and tweak your plans whenever needed.

Know Your Limits

You know yourself better than anyone else does, so listen to your intuition. Give yourself reasonable tasks so that you can avoid getting overwhelmed. If possible, avoid things that might make you feel extra anxious or crummy, and know when to and when not to push yourself.

Avoid the Crowds

To stay out of the hectic rush of the mall, go shopping during off-hours, like weekdays. Shopping online is a good way to avoid crowds, but some things are just better bought in stores. Don’t save your shopping until the weekend before Christmas when tons of people are doing just that.

Treat Yourself

Buy something for yourself while you’re out and about! It could be something you’ve wanted all year, like a new makeup product or tech gadget. Or maybe go with something that will help you wind down later, like some tea and a bath bomb. Take yourself out to lunch because you deserve it. If not, a handy drink can be the perfect thing to help calm you as you make your way through the isles. A frappuccino or iced coffee is my personal favorite.

End Your Day Right

Give yourself time to relax at the end of a long day. The present wrapping can wait a few hours while you take a hot bath or even a nap. Instead of replaying the hectic day in your head, read a magazine or unwind with some mobile games.

Take Your Meds

While it is super important not to skip your meds at any time during the year, knowing that something will likely give you anxiety is even more of a reason to make sure you take them. If you take a medication for short term anxiety relief, make sure to bring a couple with you during the day, and don’t feel bad if you end up needing to take one. Your mental health is so important, and you don’t need anxiety charging in and ruining your Christmas spirit.

Give Thoughtful Gifts

Remember that despite Christmas being a Hallmark holiday, the best presents truly do come from the heart. When you get something for someone that you know they will like, there’s not that worry of being unsure if they will like their gift or not. Listen to people throughout the year so that you know what they have their eyes on. Putting lots of thought and effort into picking out or making a gift will show through when it is unwrapped. If you’re short on money, give one really thoughtful gift over a bunch of smaller, less personal ones.

Those are just a handful of tips that I wish I had followed myself from the start of my holiday shopping. I hope they can help you, or at the very least give you some ideas to ways you can keep your anxiety under control during this time of year. Also, read plenty of other tips to find out what will best work for you. Many more people than you think are dealing with things like anxiety. It is important that we help each other out.

What is your best tip for minimizing anxiety during the Christmas shopping rush?

6 Cozy Things to Add to Your Night Routine

With the sun setting around 4 PM and the holidays right around the corner, this time of year is the coziest time of year. Just thinking about it makes me want to curl up in a blanket and sip hot chocolate in front of a fireplace. Although I don’t have a fireplace in my home, let alone any hot chocolate, I have found some easy, practical ways to make my nights comfier and cozier. Throwing these couple of extra steps into my evenings have made such a difference in my mood. Allowing time to pamper and indulge myself in simplicity is such a necessary step to making sure I take care of my mental health.

Here are some things I have been doing to make my nights not only cozier, but more relaxing and enjoyable.

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Light Candles

Okay, this one is probably pretty obvious. Lighting candles seems to be on every cozy self-care list ever made, but hear me out. Somehow Bath and Body Works always manages to lure me in during the colder seasons. Unlike in the summer, I want my room full of rich, warm scents. But stopping at one pretty scented candle is where I have been going wrong all along.

Enter, the non-scented candle. Although I use non-scented candles in my spiritual practice, I never considered using them to light my room. However, after watching this video by The Mustards, I decided to give it a try. Lying down to relax never felt cozier than with my room full of candle light. Plus, my anxiety stays tame because I use candles in glass jars. If you’re a one scented candle kind of person like me, I highly recommend you try adding a couple non-scented candles to your decor.

Turn Off the Screens

That’s right, all of them. Even your phone (as tempting as it may be to play Animal Crossing: Pocket Camp). Despite doing most of my work in the evenings, I still like to find some time to turn off my devices. Lucky for me, one of my greatest pleasures in life is handwriting in notebooks. I even have one specifically for my blog, so I’m often scribbling ideas in it when I’m away from my devices. Finding something to fill this down time with isn’t always easy, so keep on reading for some ideas.

Read a Physical Book

A great way to spend some screen-free time is by reading. I know not everybody enjoys reading, but if you have the patience, finding the right book for you might be all you need to do. I’ve been getting into more non-fiction lately, but there are so many genres out there. If you’re interested in something, I guarantee there’s a book about it.

Drink Some Tea

Maybe it’s just because I’m not a coffee person, but I find tea to be the perfect cozy drink. It feels good to drink it, like I’m helping my body in some way. Plus, the warmth is exactly what I need to help me get calm and ready for bed. Of course, you can drink whatever drink makes you feel the coziest, whether hot or cold. Maybe you even have a special drink that is only for cozy winter nights, like a chamomile tea or hot cocoa. Drinking tea while reading is an A+ combo, as well.

Start a Skincare Routine

Clean that face! Moisturize! As someone who has struggled to stay on top of my skincare game, having the cold weather dry my skin out has definitely pushed me to keep up with it. It seems like every year I have a couple different dry spots on my face. This year it’s the side of my nose and above my lip. Just by doing the basics, like cleansing and moisturizing, my dry patches are gone and my skin is soft as heck. Naturally, everyone’s skincare routine will be different, and I am no expert on the subject, so I recommend looking into what you will need to take care of your skin.

Be Present

Reflecting on your day and being grateful is a great start! But sometimes being present in the moment can really help you think clearly and feel better about yourself. It can be a difficult thing to do, which is why meditation is ideal. Don’t let the idea scare you, though. In simplest terms, all meditation is is focusing on breathing and clearing your mind of unneeded thought. No, it’s not easy, but yes, it can really help your state of mind, as well as help you go to bed with a smile on your face.

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Those are just a few things that I have started incorporating into my nights. Seasonal depression can be a real bitch, so I’m trying my hardest to work on things before the holidays season ends and my heart yearns for the spring. These tips are nothing extravagant or original, but they are tried and true to me. Even adding just a couple to your night can help you wind down and feel those cozy vibes all winter long.

What are you doing to make your night routine cozier this winter? I’d love to know!